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13 Steps to Being a Winning Parent, Part 2
Dr. Alan Goldberg
[SPN Editor’s Note: This is part 2, which includes steps 7-13. Part 1 was in the February 6 issue of Swim Parents Newsletter.]
STEP SEVEN: YOUR CHILD IS NOT HIS PERFORMANCE-LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY. Do not equate your child's self-worth and lovability with his performance. The most tragic and damaging mistake I see parents continually make is punishing a child for a bad performance by withdrawing emotionally from him. A child loses a race, strikes out or misses and easy shot on goal and the parent responds with disgust, anger and withdrawal of love and approval. CAUTION: Only use this strategy if you want to damage your child emotionally and ruin your relationship with him. In the 1988 Olympics, when Greg Louganis needed and got a perfect 10 on his last dive to overtake the Chinese diver for the gold medal, his last thought before he went was, "If I don't make it, my mother will still love me".